Our oblivion of the sacred silence.

Reflection on the holy Gospel reading (St. Matthew 1:18-25)- Revelation to St. Joseph the just.

The crux of Christmas and thereby the story of salvation of mankind can be summed up as the humility and love of God for man that made Him willingly endure Cross and trample death. In communities with a deep foundation of patriarchal values, machismo is the norm while the godly virtues of humility and silence is considered highly incongruous for the man of the house. In this backdrop we remember the angelic command to an ordinary carpenter-St. Joseph the just, an epitome of silence of humility who faithfully and silently ministered his betrothed Blessed Virgin and her Child.

In my limited knowledge, only two parishes in India under the Malankara Orthodox Church are named after St. Joseph the just (one in Tughlakabad, New Delhi and the other in Bangalore).

Why is our tradition strangely silent in commemorating the feast of the foster father of our Lord? Why have we allowed his memory to fade? 

 - Is it because St. Joseph’s mission of servant leadership in domestic life upends the societal privileges of men in a family set-up? The renowned poet from Kerala, K Satchidanandan writes- “To love a woman is to exchange the harshness of your muscles for the tenderness of a flower.” (While I Write; Harper Collins). To follow St Joseph’s mission in family life is to execute the great burden that society has traditionally thrust upon women- to silently continue work amidst sufferings and to be content with a second place in home and life.  

 - Is it because the role of St. Joseph as the helper (of the Blessed Virgin and her Child) will trigger the combustible egos of the patriarchal society that fosters a skewed concept of family dynamics wherein the commitment to marital duties falls chiefly on the woman?

 - Is it because on such feast day(s) the sermons on St. Joseph’s silent relentless service to his betrothed Blessed Virgin and her Child will prick the societal conscience as it will serve as an yearly reminder to the menfolk of their duty to selflessly serve their home/community? 

 “Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly. But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.” (St. Matthew 1:19-20; NKJV).

Seen from the conventional lens of the society this verse is understood to praise St. Joseph’s magnanimity in not divorcing the holy Theotokos for her alleged unchastity. However, seen from the spiritual lens of St. Joseph, it is an act stemming from his humility. How is St. Joseph’s intent to separate from St. Mary considered just and an act of humility?

In the Old Testament narrative regarding the birth of Samson we note that Manoah doubted his wife's story about an angelic visit promising them parenthood. The Angel of the Lord gives a patient hearing when Manoah probes further (ref: Judges 13, NKJV).

The betrothed Virgin tells Angel Gabriel during the annunciation - “How can this be, since I do not know a man?” This very statement of St. Mary shows her resolve to lead a celibate life. It is improbable that St. Joseph would be unaware of the Blessed Virgin’s determination and her spiritual depth. If St. Joseph doubted the Virgin’s chastity, he too could have asked for proof like Manoah did - praying for a second angelic visitation in his presence. If God was so patient with Manoah's questions, surely He would have heeded to the righteous man’s request to alleviate doubts on the Virgin Birth.

On a closer scrutiny of the verses, we note that unlike the various angelic visitations in the New Testaments, wherein the angels reassure the listeners to not be afraid of their presence, St. Joseph is instead asked not to fear in taking St. Mary as his wife.

"When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord!” (St. Luke 5:8; NKJV). This passage tells the incident about Jesus calling the four fishermen as disciples and the miracle of catching a multitude of fishes. After the miraculous catch of the fish, Simon Peter becomes aware that he has encountered holy, and he asks Jesus to go away because he sees himself as unworthy to stand close to Him.

As a devout Jew, St. Joseph would be aware of the prophecies of Isaiah regarding the Virgin birth of the Lord. Those great frightening events prophesied ages ago were now unfolding right before his eyes. Like Simon Peter requesting the Lord to depart from Him being aware of his own unworthiness, the righteous St. Joseph considers himself extremely unworthy for the great calling. He is overwhelmed with the great fear of the holy- the great fear of being in the same dwelling as the Lord and His mother and it is this holy fear of his that the angel comforts. 

Origen says: "But if he had no suspicion of her, how could he be a just man, and yet seek to put her away, being immaculate? He sought to put her away, because he saw in her a great sacrament, to approach which he thought himself unworthy." (Catena; Thomas Aquinas)

St. Joseph’s dilemma with a pregnant Virgin can be contemplated in the first four beatitudes [St. Matthew 5:3-10] - a broken (poor in spirit-v.3) and grieving (mourn-v.4) man who mourns in silence (meek-v.5) longing to do what is right (hunger and thirst for righteousness- v.6]. Jesus calls such a man blessed.

In the next four beatitudes the virtues of St. Joseph can be contemplated upon. While going through upheavals for sake of our Lord (mockery for being with a young pregnant Virgin, displacement, massacre, exile etc.), in little what the Scripture says about him, we can sense that St. Joseph is merciful (v.7) towards the needs of his family, his conduct is pure (v.8), and he tries his best to give a life of peace to the Theotokos and her Child (v.9). The beatitudes end with a promise of the kingdom of heaven to those who are persecuted for righteousness’s sake (v.10). St. Joseph led a life of great struggle in silence and indeed, he was blessed to receive the taste of heaven- to depart the earthly life in the arms of his Lord and His mother.

How many men engrossed in the travails and temptations of the world can afford to look at their family mercifully, lead a life of purity for their children to emulate and ensure peace in their home? If ever a day is set apart commemorating his feast of St. Joseph the just, then such day should be dedicated as the Father's Day of the church. Such a day ought to serve as a great reminder for the fathers (whether spiritual or biological) to follow St. Joseph's footsteps, and to seek his intercessions so that they faithfully and selflessly conduct their stewardship duties towards home and the church. 

By the prayers and intercessions of St. Joseph the Just, may the Lord strengthen us to follow our calling faithfully and may He be pleased to dwell in our unworthy hearts and homes.

In Christ,

Rincy

Learning ‘ABC’ from St Joseph the Righteous.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy upon me a sinner.

The liturgical calendar of the Indian Orthodox Church commemorates the revelation to St Joseph the Righteous (‘galyono-d-yawseph kino’) on the Sunday following the birth of St John the Baptist during the Advent season.

 St Joseph the Righteous- here is one man of whom we do not see any recorded words in the Holy Scripture but his actions speak volumes. Let us see his ‘ABC’s:

1) Action over apathy

From the little that we read about St Joseph the Righteous in the Holy Scripture, we can sense that he was a ‘doer’ and not merely a ‘listener’ of God’s commandments. Without any counter-questions or delay, he obeyed God’s will when the angel told him about the virgin birth of our Lord and to take St Mary as his wife  (ref-St Matthew 1:20-24); he responded affirmatively and immediately when the angel of the Lord asked him to take the young Child and His mother to Egypt to escape Herod’s plan to murder the infants (ref St Matthew 2:13-14); he did what the angel told him about returning to Israel post the death of Herod (ref St Matthew 2:19-21); he obeyed God’s warning and settled in the region of Galilee- in a city called Nazareth (ref St Matthew 2:22-23).

St Joseph the Righteous life teaches us that merely listening to God’s Word isn’t enough, it’s when we act on it that our obedience is counted, and our patience tested. We do not see him validating pros and cons of God’s commandments. St Joseph simply obeys and acts. And yes, it wasn’t easy for St Joseph. He would have been the laughing stock in his community when they saw St Mary-the Theotokos with the Child. They would have thought that he is the father, them being unaware of the virgin birth of our Lord. People would have said things like - ‘see the old man’s lust!’ and what not.

We may feel repentant and upbeat after hearing a sermon in the church. We may get moving spiritual messages through social media during this Advent season. However, if we are not able to transform our feelings we received from our senses into actions i.e. transforming our life or ways of living, then we are like the seeds that fell on the stony ground and among the thorns (ref St Matthew 13; Parable of the Sower). When tribulations came, or the worldly charm engulfed us, we allowed the feeble repentant voice to be subdued forever.

Like the seeds that fell on good ground, if we hear God’s Word, embrace it, transform and persevere in the journey, we may be able to produce fruit as the grace of God allows (ref St Mathew 13:23).

How many times have we chosen apathy and subdued our inner voice because that was perceived to be difficult?

2) Benevolence over bitterness

 The intention of St Joseph the Righteous not to publicly humiliate St Mary when she was found with the Child and the image of St Joseph lovingly looking at Baby Jesus makes him benevolence personified. We do not see a bitter man engulfed in hatred an irritation when he stumbles upon one challenge after another when the Lord chose him to take care of the Theotokos and the Child.

We love to point shortcomings in others either publicly highlighting them or by talking/gossiping about it. Have we ever thought of privately discussing such topic in a respectful and gentle manner with our spouse rather than sharing it with relatives or being disrespectful to our better halves in public places?

During the Advent season, we see the children being very excited to make the crib with Infant Jesus, the Theotokos, St Joseph, shepherds and animals. Yes, the story of a family is not just about a mother and a child. It includes the father as well. If the role of a father in the life of a newborn and new mother wouldn’t have been of importance we would not have seen St Joseph in the picture.

The topic of mental health is always a taboo more so if it is case of women. The emotional, physical, mental pressure during childbirth does strain a mothers’ physical well-being particularly mental health. Following childbirth, a significant number of women silently suffer what is known as postnatal depression or postpartum depression- a feeling of hopelessness, mood-swings, bouts of anger, feeling trapped and in some extreme cases- doing harm to self and the baby. This is compounded by the fact that our societies place the onus of raising the children exclusively on the mothers.

Babycare isn’t strictly ‘natural’- one needs to learn it. While your wife and now a new mother is learning at it; what has been your contribution as a new father? You might have had a hard day at work, but it is many times harder to manage a baby. Being empathetic to your wife, asking her how her day went, trying to spend more time with the baby while she can have rest are some of the ways to share the new parenting challenges.

During this Advent season, ponder whether you have allowed bitterness to engulf you or have you been benevolent to your spouse and children during this journey of fulfilling marital and parenting responsibilities?    

3) Calling over career

Fatherhood, be it biological or spiritual, is a calling. How many have given 10% of the importance to this ‘calling’ the way it is given to their careers? We know from the Holy Scriptures that St Joseph the Righteous was a carpenter. It would seem a big monetary loss to forego a career and run to Egypt to protect the Theotokos and the Child and then come back as the angel advised. However, for St Joseph, it was the calling that was more important than the profession.

In St Joseph, we see a religious and pious man who took care of the spiritual needs of the family. We see the simple family following all the applicable religious tenets of that time (like presenting the Child in the Temple)- “So when they had performed all things according to the law of the Lord, they returned to Galilee, to their own city, Nazareth.” (St Luke 2:39). It was in St Joseph’s home that the ‘Child grew and became strong in spirit’ (St Luke 2:40). We see the family going to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of Passover (St Luke 2:41).

St Joseph the Righteous’ life is a great example for the fathers to emulate. Some questions for the fathers to ponder upon this Advent season- 

Am I living out the calling of being the leader/head of my family? Am I giving the right spiritual atmosphere to my kids at home? Do I strive to deepen mine and my family’s Orthodox faith/life through a sincere participation in the Holy Eucharist? I always reach  office at the right time always but do I take the same initiative and energy to make my family be in the church before namaskaaram starts?

May the prayers of St Joseph the Righteous help us to follow his 'ABC'.

Let us spare a moment and pray:

Lord, we entrust our fathers, grandfathers, and spiritual fathers in Your loving care. By the prayers of St Joseph the Righteous, O Lord, help them to listen to Your call, and bless them with godly wisdom and spiritual guidance to lead and direct their children in Your path. Keep them away from all vices. Strengthen them during periods of trial and temptation. O St Joseph, pray for us that we may serve the Infant Christ in obedience and love especially opening our hearts and arms to those who are weak, helpless, vulnerable and displaced.

************************

By the intercessions of St Mary-the Theotokos and St Joseph the Righteous, may the Lord have mercy upon us.

In Christ,

Rincy John